"1. People Who Talk on Smartphones 24/7. One would think that I'd be over this by now. No, I'm not. It's 2009, people! You're not cool or special just because you can talk away on your pink BlackBerry Pearl. You're just like everybody else! Now get back in your Hummer, drive home to your McMansion and watch "Real Housewives of Orange County" on your 100-inch HDTV. Thanks.
"5. Twitter. Tweet this: NOBODY REALLY CARES WHAT YOU ARE DOING RIGHT NOW!"
